Ladies… Why Are We Thinking So MUCH During SEX?

Girl thinking


Where sex can be very similar between men and women; sex itself can be a bit more complex to us women. The idea of it & actually doing it is completely two different scenarios for us. We may imagine it to be one way but it then actually turns out to be the complete opposite of that.

Our biggest flaw when it comes to sex is thinking way too much into it. I mean who doesn’t want great “mind blowing” sex? What really ruins it for us, is being there in “the moment” without actually being there because you’re inside of your own head and thoughts. For example: (And this is just for FUN!) “oh my goodness… I wonder how does my hair look right now?”, “Do I look fat?”, “Am I too loud?”, “Am I not loud enough?”, “Should I talk dirty to him?”, “I hope I’m not ruining this moment right now…” etc. lol! Yeah… you catch my drift, right???

Well while you’re up there in that head of yours, you’re actually not enjoying the sex between you and your lover… I mean the reason you got undressed and laid down with him is because most important; you trust him and you wanted it. So why not go with the flow of things? And just STOP questioning yourself.

Go for it! To be completely honest, how you look during sex plays a tiny role in the actual intercourse itself. My research findings in Webster dictionary, meaning of the word sex is : “a physical activity in which people touch each others bodies, kiss each other, etc. Physical activity that is and often includes sexual intercourse.”

Since sex is more of an act between two people being physical with one another it’s more about that physical connection in order to achieve that “mind blowing” sex. Two pieces of advice let go and relax. You could follow his lead or guide him to your “pleasure spots”. That’s one way to be sure that you guys are in sync with one another. A little direction from either side could prove to add more “steam” to the sex. Being vocal even to let your partner know that he’s in the right places or how he is making you feel can ease the tension or nervousness you may feel. His actions in return could be a very pleasurable thing to you. Maybe then you’ll begin to relax and experience that explosive “O”. Always keep in mind that though you may feel insecure about your appearance or your behavior during sexual intercourse; that pleasurable sex is just as much YOUR job as it is your partner’s.

All people are different, which makes our bodies unique. But foreplay can also help heighten and ease some of the sexual tension you may feel right before you engage in sexual intercourse. Foreplay can turn you on even more and have you anticipating the pleasure you want to have and feel.

Ladies, these are just a few of my ideas on what could help ease our minds before or during sex. Us women can make things so complicated sometimes.. only because we are more mindful to detail and our vulnerability. Yes, there’s a huge chance of our feelings being involved as well which makes it just that much more harder for us.

Anyways, until next time and our next topic… which will be my readers “YOUR” choice! My email and comments will be opened to any ideas on what my next blog topic should be about.

Xoxo, Layla Love



8 thoughts on “Ladies… Why Are We Thinking So MUCH During SEX?

  1. AshleighMayy says:

    This is brilliant! I totally couldn’t agree with you. I know its massive thing for me, I know I over think, then I start to over think the fact i’m over thinking to much and I need to let go. Too many questions and thoughts go through your mind. Do I look good from this angle? are my boobs moving around too much ? Is my hair in way,can he breathe? haha. Least I am not the only one to over think the situation. x ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • ebonydesire says:

      I wanted so badly to cover this topic because I know that this is Ohhh so very common for us ladies! Lol! Yes, I am guilty of it myself.. and I can say that those moments I have totally RELAXED was 100% worth it!
      Thank you for adding to my thoughts girly and taking the time out to read it. I believe these are the sort of topics I’ll enjoy focusing on. Lol! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. kalliepygus says:

    I feel like I over think a lot especially when I’m with a new partner, but have learned that it helps if I focus on what is going on by telling myself in my head what is happening (i.e. he is circling my clit with his tongue while moving his fingers in and out, in and out, etc). Literally thinking about what is happening helps me stay in the moment allowing me to enjoy every bit of it.


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