Being Turned ON & Being a Woman!

sexy black girl

Seems like an almost every time we “do it” challenge! lol! Being turned on that is… So why does it take particular things to turn us women on? Because we require romantic “investment”!

Trust; by itself opens us up!

Being seduced by words is the sexiest shit ever to us. If his conversation can bring sex to mind, then he’s definitely on the right path to your “goods”. Him pulling and gripping you in all the right places can very well lead to a kiss. It also shows the sign that he is a dominant man and is willing to take over or lead the way if need be. What woman isn’t a sucker for a man that can take control? And don’t we all go crazy for a confident man?

If he’s feeding you sexual fantasies and things for the future it will certainly have you longing and have you anticipating what’s soon to come.

Ever wonder why it takes a lot more just to turn us on sexually? According to Dr. Emily Nagoski (Psychology) “Men are more sensitive to erotic stimuli than women are, because men have a higher (SES) than women.” (SES) is the system that notices sexually relevant stimuli in the environment. “Overall women are more sensitive to threats that reduce sexual responsiveness, women have more (SIS) than men.” (SIS) is the system that responds to all kinds of threats and turns off.

Basically, from my research findings it’s not that it’s just that HARD to turn us on it’s just very easy to turn us off as well. That’s why you may always hear that we should be made feel comfortable and relaxed. In some or most cases our surroundings “environment”  play a huge role in our sexual arousal.

This goes back to my last blog topic of “why do women think so much during sex?”. I guess as a woman we are more mindful of A LOT of things without even consciously knowing that we are. Then we also have to know ourselves… a guy can’t please us or even turn us on if we don’t even know what get us in the mood. Whether it’s being touched in a certain place, specific  type of “porn”, phone sex, or even masturbation. A woman should explore her sexuality. Ask yourself what turns you on or get you in the mood?

I guess we find the topic of sex “embarrassing” even when talking to a girlfriend about it. But we do have to remind ourselves “sex” is a normal act of nature! 😛

That’s easier said than done.

Xoxo, Layla Love 🙂

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Ladies… Why Are We Thinking So MUCH During SEX?

laylaloveblog

Girl thinking

Where sex can be very similar between men and women; sex itself can be a bit more complex to us women. The idea of it & actually doing it is completely two different scenarios for us. We may imagine it to be one way but it then actually turns out to be the complete opposite of that.

Our biggest flaw when it comes to sex is thinking way too much into it. I mean who doesn’t want great “mind blowing” sex? What really ruins it for us, is being there in “the moment” without actually being there because you’re inside of your own head and thoughts. For example: (And this is just for FUN!) “oh my goodness… I wonder how does my hair look right now?”, “Do I look fat?”, “Am I too loud?”, “Am I not loud enough?”, “Should I talk dirty to him?”, “I hope I’m not ruining this moment right…

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Ladies… Why Are We Thinking So MUCH During SEX?

Girl thinking

 

Where sex can be very similar between men and women; sex itself can be a bit more complex to us women. The idea of it & actually doing it is completely two different scenarios for us. We may imagine it to be one way but it then actually turns out to be the complete opposite of that.

Our biggest flaw when it comes to sex is thinking way too much into it. I mean who doesn’t want great “mind blowing” sex? What really ruins it for us, is being there in “the moment” without actually being there because you’re inside of your own head and thoughts. For example: (And this is just for FUN!) “oh my goodness… I wonder how does my hair look right now?”, “Do I look fat?”, “Am I too loud?”, “Am I not loud enough?”, “Should I talk dirty to him?”, “I hope I’m not ruining this moment right now…” etc. lol! Yeah… you catch my drift, right???

Well while you’re up there in that head of yours, you’re actually not enjoying the sex between you and your lover… I mean the reason you got undressed and laid down with him is because most important; you trust him and you wanted it. So why not go with the flow of things? And just STOP questioning yourself.

Go for it! To be completely honest, how you look during sex plays a tiny role in the actual intercourse itself. My research findings in Webster dictionary, meaning of the word sex is : “a physical activity in which people touch each others bodies, kiss each other, etc. Physical activity that is and often includes sexual intercourse.”

Since sex is more of an act between two people being physical with one another it’s more about that physical connection in order to achieve that “mind blowing” sex. Two pieces of advice let go and relax. You could follow his lead or guide him to your “pleasure spots”. That’s one way to be sure that you guys are in sync with one another. A little direction from either side could prove to add more “steam” to the sex. Being vocal even to let your partner know that he’s in the right places or how he is making you feel can ease the tension or nervousness you may feel. His actions in return could be a very pleasurable thing to you. Maybe then you’ll begin to relax and experience that explosive “O”. Always keep in mind that though you may feel insecure about your appearance or your behavior during sexual intercourse; that pleasurable sex is just as much YOUR job as it is your partner’s.

All people are different, which makes our bodies unique. But foreplay can also help heighten and ease some of the sexual tension you may feel right before you engage in sexual intercourse. Foreplay can turn you on even more and have you anticipating the pleasure you want to have and feel.

Ladies, these are just a few of my ideas on what could help ease our minds before or during sex. Us women can make things so complicated sometimes.. only because we are more mindful to detail and our vulnerability. Yes, there’s a huge chance of our feelings being involved as well which makes it just that much more harder for us.

Anyways, until next time and our next topic… which will be my readers “YOUR” choice! My email and comments will be opened to any ideas on what my next blog topic should be about.

Xoxo, Layla Love

 

Ladies Is It Possible To Regret Your Relationship? Maybe Even Think IT?!

crying woman

So have you ever had that feeling where you felt like your feelings didn’t matter or that you’re always wrong and he’s right? About everything!!! Well it’s more common than you may realize. It makes you question yourself and whether or not you’re “just tripping”! Well we all know that if your female intuition kicks in then there’s close to an 100% chance that you are indeed right! Men are lazy in the mind especially when it can come to a disagreement in the relationship… unless you’re the one on the receiving end of his feelings. I know, sounds selfish huh? Psychology studies shows that men find it unbearable when their pulse rate begin to rise in the moment of conflict which leaves you feeling emotionally and mentally “ALONE”! In return they point out every flaw and error in your thinking or just simply withdraw.

Men want to feel supported, soothed, loved, and respected; only to alienate the woman they claim to love. It’s a “pride” thing apparently admitting to being wrong or accepting a flaw is giving up power. But a real loving man shares equality, shares power, and understands that a woman deserves respect.

Now all of the above are things I’ve studied and researched in my (OWN) words! Now let’s get to my opinion and where the (REGRET)  comes into play!

In my opinion this all may be true but I believe it’s bullshit. Man and woman are both human, both almost function the same but also are very (DIFFERENT) in many ways. When it comes down to it a partner man or woman deserve equality. Resentment is the result of accepting feeling this way… you will begin to question the relationship or even (REGRET) it!

Problem is what do you do? Especially if you’re not ready to give up on the relationship. Do you ignore the problem or the feeling of inequality? You could for a little while… BUT I’m not ONCE saying do not stand your ground. At least make sure your voice is heard. Let him come to you and leave the issue alone, maybe give him a small dose of his own medicine. He should see for himself how it feels to go unnoticed, to not feel important, don’t pay his feelings any mind. He will either come around or show/prove to you that he really doesn’t respect you.

Have you been together months or years? You may feel like you may have wasted your time. You may start to question whether or not its over. Only your heart can decide for you. It’s crazy how your mind only plays a small role in your emotions.

You almost regret thinking to yourself was it even worth it… If that makes any sense? You’ll question everything, regret some things, and even regret that you may have question or doubted anything about your relationship. The mind of a woman, oh so FUCKING “Complicated”! lol!

So it’s your turn ladies, what are your thoughts on my “findings”? And how would you in turn handle yourself in this type of situation with your spouse, partner, lover?

Xoxo, Layla Love

A Woman’s Most Vulnerable Thoughts About Sex & All (Introductory)

thinking girl

Can We Talk About What’s on The HUSH?!

The purpose of this blog is so that young women like myself can share an account of past events with one another. Also, I want my blog to be more of an informative guide to women regarding love, relationships, sex, temptation, unsatisfactory, lust, concupiscence, a female’s sexual appetite, and honesty.

I vision this blog to make it easier for young women to be more open minded in their relationship about their body and sexual desires. But we also know that honesty plays a huge role in a relationship (Any Type). Most importantly if it involves sex and/or a partnership.

I plan to be open with you ladies about my thoughts (Past & Current) fantasies in the form of a short stories series. I feel that will be the perfect way to entertain and share my opinion and views on ALL of the JUICY stuff that most of us are or have been uncomfortable talking about (even thinking about) EVER! The short stories will only be a small portion of my blog though, as I mentioned earlier the purpose of my blog is to talk about ALL of what is honestly kept on the HUSH!

With this being my first blog entry I hope to gain a lot of followers, supporters, and readers; who will interact, contribute to blog topics, and exchange advice.

Now let’s move on to conversing on more uncomfortable subjects. Untill next time… 😉

Xoxo, Layla Love